Tastes Like Chicken

I am sitting here trying to enjoy myself, watching the Sox beat up on the Angels and I have to actually turn the sound down. I can't stand Joe Morgan. I used to like ESPN, but the personalities they are giving air time to are absolutely awful. Normally I would watch NESN, but tonight I am stuck.

Why is Joe Morgan given a mike? What an ass. I don't care about the Big Red Machine. I don't care that you seem to think that the umps are giving all the calls to the Sox. Get over it. You don't know everything, jackass. Here is a typical Joe Morgan call – "I was talking to (insert namedrop here) the other night. You know, he grew up near me. One of my home town guys." Who cares? Talk about the game objectively. This is a national broadcast. Nobody gives a crap about you.

What about Stewart Scott? He used to be funny. But now he is trying to be way too urban and hip. I wish the Bristol cops would arrest his lame ass. Seriously – be a sportscaster – not some lame middle aged jerkoff trying to be hip.

While we're at it, why don't we retire Linda Cohn? She used to be hot for a middle aged woman. But now she's just getting annoying. Give me some twenty something hottie that wears tight tops and knows how to read a teleprompter.

In general, enough with the sportscasters who want to be part of the spotlight. Report the news, don't try to be a part of it. It's not about you. I don't watch SportsCenter because of you – I watch SportsCenter in spite of you.